Coinbase’s Hamster Wheels Broke, Derailing Crypto Rally

In case you missed it, this is what happened today. 🤢

It started like this:

Total Market Cap 15-minute Chart – Click to enlarge.

and ended like this:

Total Market Cap 15-minute Chart – Click to enlarge.

Because of this:

In roughly 30 minutes, 160 billion in market cap was lost. Rumors are flying that the hamster wheels powering $COIN‘s operations have all broken down. 

A fake internal audit brought to light that instead of using brass wheels, some noob decided to save a few bucks and bought a semi truck’s load of made-in-China wheels. Upon further discovery, the wheels were not wheels but replacement gears for the 1990’s hit board game Mouse Trap. 

In a nutshell, I was excited about the rally, and then the market equivalent of someone randomly kicking you in the nuts happened. 

At the time of publishing, a few updates from their support page occurred. 🙁

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